Home

 

A:   Actually, yes! One of my favorite reads this year doubles for both personal and professional growth and insights.

In today’s customer experience landscape, our teams face pressure from every direction—KPIs, shifting volumes, emotional callers, and the relentless pace of operational targets. As leaders, we are constantly seeking new strategies not just to perform, but to build workplaces where our people thrive under pressure and feel empowered to lead with strength and clarity.

Recently, I came across a book that delivered far more than I expected: The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. At first glance, it might sound like a personal development mantra, but don’t be fooled—it holds powerful, practical insights for those of us leading in the fast-paced world of customer service.

What Is “The Let Them Theory”?

At its core, the theory is simple yet transformative: If someone wants to resist, complain, criticize, or walk away—let them. Your power lies not in controlling others, but in how you respond.

This isn’t about apathy—it’s about emotional discipline. In our line of work, where stress and emotion run high, this mindset can reduce burnout, increase team confidence, and help leaders set healthy boundaries while still showing up for their people.

A Personal Reflection: Parenting and Leadership

As a parent, the instinct to fix things for our kids runs deep. We step in to smooth the way, prevent frustration, or solve problems before they feel pain. It comes from a place of love—but I’ve learned that when I jump in too quickly, I may unintentionally send the message that my child can’t handle it on their own.

The lesson? Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to step back, let them struggle a bit, and cheer them on as they figure it out. That’s how confidence is built.

The same principle applies in business. Coaching to develop someone is different than constantly rescuing them. The Let Them Theory isn’t about ignoring issues—it’s about knowing when to guide and when to allow space for growth.

Why It Matters in the Contact Center World

Let me share a recent example from a senior team lead, Maria, at a healthcare call center.

Maria was known for her strong performance, but her energy was always running low as a coach. Why? Because she was constantly intervening—resolving every conflict, smoothing every customer complaint, and carrying the emotional weight of her team’s daily battles.

Recently, Maria started to use the IDEA model in collaborative conversations and following the Let Them Theory. She told us:

“I realized I was stepping in too soon—every time an agent struggled, every time a customer got loud, I felt I had to fix it. But what if I just… let them try? Let the agents handle the call, let the agent come up with ideas on how to say something differently and support from a calmer distance?”

The impact Maria found with her team is that the agents now feel empowered to share in their own development.  Several members of her team are coming to her proactively with ways to improve performance and lightening her load to develop the team and meet the KPIs. 

Where This Applies in Your Operation

Let’s break it down into real-world scenarios:

1. The Performance Opportunities

Empower your agents to listen, engage in their own development and brainstorm their own ideas to meet their performance metrics. 

Training tip: Practice coaching without always giving the solution. Role-play scenarios for practice where agents take the lead and develop their own plan of action. 

2. The Resistant Team Member

Let them resist—at first. People often push back before they commit. Instead of coaxing compliance, set expectations clearly and let actions speak louder than complaints.

Coaching tip: Try this: “I understand your concern. Change takes time. The expectation remains.” Then move forward confidently.

3. The Office Gossip

Let them be who they are—but don’t feed the energy. Model integrity. Redirect the culture by rewarding those who build others up.

Culture tip: When faced with gossip, a simple: “Thanks for sharing—now I need to get back to work,” can shut down negativity without confrontation.

The Leadership Shift: Influence Without Over-functioning

The most effective leaders in this environment aren’t the ones who solve everything—they’re the ones who create space for their people to grow.

Let them stumble—and coach.

Let them have bad days—and show grace.

Let them leave—and trust your culture will remain strong.

This isn’t passive. Its powerful leadership rooted in clarity, calm, and confidence.

Integrating “Let Them” Into Your Culture

You don’t need a massive change initiative. Small shifts can create lasting impact. 

Here’s how:

Micro-training modules: A 5-minute video on empowering individuals to become problem solvers

Team huddles: Prompt: “What’s one thing at work you’re trying too hard to control?”

Leadership workshops: Build “Let Them” into your coaching strategies while continuing to develop the team while balancing the need to fix everything. 

Peer coaching circles: Share stories of letting go—and how it helped

Final Thought: Let Go to Lead Stronger

In a world that asks us to react constantly, the Let Them Theory offers a smarter way forward.

Your teams don’t need you to carry every burden—they need your clarity, calm, and courage to lead with trust.

If you're interested in bringing this mindset into your organization through practical training, huddles, or custom coaching, we’d love to help. Just reach out.

 

 

 

 

In her current capacity with Ulysses Learning, Dina is responsible for the day-to-day operations of the company and also serves as the chief client relationship executive, working with Fortune 100 clients and other progressive organizations to redefine the way customers are cared for. Under her leadership, Ulysses has been recognized for its work in transforming customer service, sales and coaching cultures through the development of emotional intelligence or “EQ,” enabling reps to confidently, consistently and expertly handle each customer interaction. The company has focused expertise in serving the healthcare, insurance, utilities, and financial services industries. 

Before joining Ulysses in 2001, Dina was responsible for the ground-level startup of two contact centers to serve bankers including Fortune 100 clients First Chicago, Harris Bank, American Express and Citibank.  This led to her role as call center lead consultant and division manager for an international learning organization prior to Ulysses. Outside of work Dina is actively involved in local volunteerism and enjoys cooking, gardening and nature walks.

Dina can be reached on LinkedIn or at dvance@ulysseslearning.com; for more details on Ulysses Learning visit www.ulysseslearning.com

Challenge Solved! Is sponsored by:

Ulysses Learning was founded in 1995 as a joint venture with Northwestern University’s world-renowned Learning Sciences department. Since then, Ulysses’ continued focus on research and development has earned it prestigious awards and recognition and, most importantly, the respect from its clients who rely on Ulysses for innovative performance improvement solutions that change with their rapidly developing and evolving environments.

Contact centers achieve profound business results ahead of schedule with Ulysses Learnings’ artful blend of patented simulation-based e-learning, facilitated exercises, coaching, and technology-driven tools, that redefine the way customers are cared for and transform customer service, sales, and coaching cultures. Ulysses has one of the only training systems proven to build EQ with its proprietary Framework with Freedom© approach, enabling reps to develop skills to empathize with others, build stronger customer bonds, and improve team dynamics with confidence, consistency, and excellence.

Ulysses Learning is a multi-year recipient of the Gold Stevie© Award for the best contact center customer service training.

Begin your contact center transformation now. Phone 800-662-4066 or visit www.ulysseslearning.com to get started.